Somethings I Have Learned From My Kids

I, as I have been for some time, am reading several books (Currently, "The Importance of Being Foolish, How to Think Like" Jesus by Brennen Manning and 1st to Die by James Patterson). I have mentioned in earlier posts that I feel the more I read the less I understand, which still holds true. One thing that I am really trying to learn right now is what Jesus' thoughts were and what He really focused on. To me, when someone talks enough about a subject, it would seem that they are passionate about that subject. I guess there are people in the world that talk about things that don't really matter to them, but I would venture a guess that the numbers are few. In regard to Jesus, He really cared about the "poor". Your guess is as good as mine, but my thoughts have changed on what Jesus means by "poor". Used to, I would understand that to mean, lacking in financial means, now it seems to me to mean much more. For instance (and I will not bore you with exact biblical references, things I myself usually read over when someone else does), when asked about kingdom greatness, Jesus uses a child to illustrate. I have recently learned that a child in ancient Israel was not as esteemed as children in modern America are, and sometimes, even looked upon with disdain. A child was considered of little or no importance until such time that he (girls/women's place in society never changed)was old enough to be considered an adult, around adolescence. Knowing that, Jesus used an object of "poor" reputation in society to illustrate His point, those that are of little or no importance by the world's standards are "poor". He said to His disciples, who were wondering how to get the best seats in Jesus' Kingdom, that to enter God's Kingdom (God's Kingdom? Here, now, later? Not sure on that), one had to become like a child.
I have wrestled with that statement for several days. Jesus talked very highly of children, going so far as to ridicule His disciples who were trying to prevent children from approaching Jesus. He was a little angry about that. Again proving His esteem for children.
That being said (boy, that took awhile to say) and if you are still reading, here is where I am with "being like a child". Those of you that have kids, have you ever sat down and observed your kids without them noticing. Of course, you may see more than you want to see, but there have been times when God has really taught me a valuable lesson simply by observing my kids. For example, kids play with anybody that is around. They don't care about what their skin color is (mine simply say they were playing with, "that boy" or "that girl", rarely is color mentioned and when it is, it doesn't mean anything, they are just communicating to me who they were playing with), they don't care if they are dirty, poor, well off, tall, short, etc. They just play. Another thing I have learned about God through my kids is, I like to watch them sleep. I know that sounds weird or freaky, but in some profound way, it gives me great peace to see my kids sleeping. I think that God gets pleasure watching us sleep (which, not to change the subject {but I will anyway}, I think this goes a long way to disprove that I have to do something to please God).
Lastly, an important thing that I have learned is, God loves me as I am, no matter what I do. My kids will always be my kids and I will always love them. When I have said this in the past to people, they quickly challenge me with questions like, "What if one of your boys grows up and "becomes" (not quite sure how this happens) homosexual?" or "What if one of your boys marries a girl of ethnicity?" or "What if one of your boys kills someone?" My answer is the same. I will love them as I have always loved them. Granted, none of these things have happened, but I really feel deep down in my gut, that I will still love them the same. This gives me great comfort. I believe that God loves me just as I am. Lazy, depressed, fat, selfish, any other trait that would, by the world's standard, be considered unflattering, God loves me. I don't wish to be these things, and I am not this way all the time, but I am from time to time, unappealing. But through it all, God still loves me more than I could ever imagine. He forgives my short-comings everyday. Its as if everyday, God has completely forgotten those things which hurt His heart just hours before. To prove my point, think about Jesus' attitude towards His disciples after the resurrection. He greets them in the upper room with, "Peace to you. Do not be afraid". No, "Well, if it isn't the scardy cats..." or any other sarcastic statement. Even when He visits with them, after they have spent the night fishing, He doesn't even bring it up! What does He do, cooks them some fish! It's as though it never happened. This is God as I understand Him to this point and frankly, He will not be the One changing.

Help me God to understand You more and more. It is my dream for my life. Thank you for loving me in spite of all the crap in my life. I know that I don't deserve Your love, but You give it anyway. Its hard for me to say most times, but I love You.

The Beloved,
SIM CP