Reading Update

Well as promised, I would like to finish my reading responses mentioned in the previous post.

The Secret Message of Jesus is a big let down for me. Maybe it is because of the place I am on my journey. A year or two ago, probably two, I would have enjoyed this a little more. For someone that is just starting on a "Great Awakening" journey, this will probably be more enlightening. I think that the premise of the book is OK, nothing really shocking or cutting edge for me.

As for the "Spiral Staircase", excellent book. A little long in some areas, but over all good memoir of a ex-nun. I continue to think that this is a book that you really feel like you know the author. Well written. Very conversational in feel. I will try to get other books of hers to read.

I have a couple of books on hold at the library. Richard Bach's, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah and Will Campbell's Convention. I will let you know how these read.

Starting Reading Again...

It's been awhile since I have read anything outside of entertaining fiction. But because I was missing some good spiritual scholorship. Here is what I am reading:
The Secret Message of Jesus by Brian McLaren. This is a book that at one time I was going to read, but put it off. A friend of mine, who mysteriously countinues to make an appearance sporatically in my life, suggested that I get the book and maybe we could start a conversation with other guys in the area in the same boat as I am in, using this book. I got it from my library and started reading it. I have made it half way through the book, and it is good, but almost predictable. I can certainly appreciate the journey and will finish the book, I just hope that the second half is more enlightening. I guess this would be a starting point to enter a conversation with others similar to myself. We'll see.
The Spiral Staircase, My Climb Out of Darkness by Karen Armstrong. Karen is an ex-nun and this is a partial memoir about her journey from being a nun to...being not a nun but still felling called to minister to the marginalized. The book is fasinating so far, I really feel a kinship with this person I have never met. It's very much like having coffee with someone that really understands what in the crap you are talking about. I love that. I will let you know how this all ends...

Where Are We Headed?

I have been reading Bible Verses and I have been enjoying the perspective of someone that is not, what I would call, a traditionally spiritual person, read through the New Testament and comment on his observations. Because of my upbringing in a conservative religion, my mind was closed to all those that believed differently than myself. Since my Great Awakening (that is my new label for whatever the hell happened to me), I have opened my mind to all kinds of thoughts and ideas and gave them their rightful attention. I gotta tell ya, that is very freeing. It is as though my brain began to be used and not just put in neutral.
At one point in my life, I would have labeled Hugh a heretic and been overly critical of everything he had to say. What a shame! Those most different from us have the most to teach us. Aren't we better able to make decisions when we have all the facts.
Until more people are willing to open up and at the very least listen to some new ideas and thoughts and beliefs, we will never get past where we are as a global people.
Let me change gears just a little.
Everyone would like world peace(Well except those who profit off of war). The only way that I can see that ever happening, is if those that are currently closed-minded to become open-minded. I believe the solution is really that simple. I believe that is what happened to me in my G.A. I am way more accepting of others, regardless of their beliefs or actions, than I ever was before. I would never except the condemning or killing of people because they are different than I am. WHO AM I? Who am I to condemn others? Have I walked in their shoes and seen what they have seen? WTF was I thinking?
Closed-mindedness. What leads us down this dark path? Where do we hope to end up? Everyone believing what we believe? What kind of nonsense is that? But alas, there are too many who believe that their way is the only way and too many who believe that that other group is wrong. What are we all 4 year olds?
Thank you Lord for not letting me live my whole life as a closed-minded asshole!

FAQ

I have been just reading blogs as of late and have had little to add to the cyber-conversation. Recently, I have been blogging about movies and not really about the spiritual things. Here is an update:
I have completely stopped going to church. I haven't been to any church service in a month. I really don't feel bad about it. I sort of feel...hollow? numb? emotionless? I don't know the reason. My wife is going to a church less than a mile from home with my two boys. She is not giving me any grief about it, but my boys are asking why they have to go and I'm not going. I really don't have an answer for them other than telling them that I am struggling with spiritual issues. I wish that I could change. I wish I could do something. If I have learned anything through this journey its this: When you live your life with a certain purpose based wholly on what a religion tells you is right and wrong and one day your whole life is radically changed (I still don't know what brought the change of heart on) and you no longer subscribe to those "rights and wrongs" of religiosity, there isn't much foundation left to rebuild on. It really feels like the rug has been pulled out from underneath my feet and I still haven't landed. Where do I go from here? Which end is up? How do I get off of this crazy ride? I sometimes wish that I would wake up and this whole journey would have been a dream/nightmare. I wish I could go back to feeling all warm and fuzzy on Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and all the other nights that the doors at church were open. Why can't I be satisfied like everybody else and sit in a pew and sing some songs and contribute financially and shake hands and smile and pray out loud and listen to sermons? Why!?! I still don't know.
I guess there really isn't any way to unknow something even though you don't know what started the unknowing.
Still in the woods....