Moving Day

I have decided to move my blog to wordpress. You can still visit me here.

DaVinci's Transposed Code Broken!

Well Leo has done it again. "Hidden" inside an already highly scrutinized painting of his, "The Last Supper" is *gasp* someone with a baby and Templar knights! How can this be, ad sarcasm. I propose that we take all DaVinci's paintings and hide them from...everyone. Of course by doing this, I don't know where else we will find good suspence/thriller novel plots. Can't we all just give it a rest? Pick some other poor dead sap and pick on his sculptures or poems for a while. Can't we get any other good ORIGINAL fantasy topics?
Or better yet lets make up our own. Here is my entry for the world's most "look-at-it-long-enough-and-it-can-be-anything" picture:



Now, if you, like the DaVinci painting, put the mirror image superimposed to the orignal, being careful to line Homer Simpson's eyes, what the f@*! is that?!? It's a "Simpsonized" version of Spongebob Squarepants' Patrick's head. What is Matt Groening trying to tell us? Will we ever know? Something deeply spiritual is taking place here, stay tuned for further development in this history changing story!

An AMC Channel original drama, Mad Men, is growing on me. I watched out of curiousity based on it being produced by the same producers as The Sopranos and it being about advertising, of which is my profession, loosely speaking.
So far, I really like it. It is based on ad men in New York in the 60's. The characters are played very well and very believable. I like the way the era of time has been portrayed. Lots of cigarette smoking, early drinking of cocktails, cheating on wives, kids not wearing seat bealts, TV dinners. A really fascinating look into a quickly fading era of time. There has only been two episodes, but they have been really great. I am looking forward to Thursday nights again (I used to really enjoy NBC's Must See TV, Wings, Seinfeld, ER). If you haven't seen the episodes and don't want to pay for them on iTunes, you can read the synopsis on AMC's site. Main character Don Draper says, "What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons", and I am persuaded that he is right based on what I have seen.

The Crucible

I just watched the movie, The Crucible, starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Winona Ryder. To be honest, I didn't know anything about the movie, or couldn't remember, but I didn't need any prior "setting up". After watching the movie, I can safely say that this was a great movie. A movie is great in my opinion when it not only gets me thinking but effects me physically. I can say that during the movie and even now, I feel anger towards the girls, led by Ryder's character, that caused the death of innocent people deemed practitioners of witchcraft. Really sad display of religious fervor. This would make a great discussion starter I think. This movie has made my favorites list.

Jim and Casper Go To Church

Well my idea of writing more often isn't panning out the way I'd hoped. I would however like to put an entry here about the book, Jim and Casper Go To Church. I picked it up from the library Wednesday and read cover to cover the same day. A really easy to read and sectioned book. I really appreciated Casper the Friendly Atheist's insights because they were coming from an "outsiders" POV. I really thought that if I could have gotten this book a few years ago that it would have helped me understand things maybe quicker. Jim, the pastor, I thought was a casual observer of Casper while Casper observed the church services. Interesting book idea but also an interesting, albeit for some risky, enterprise. I thought Jim's idea of sending church congregates out once a month to observe other church services, of the same and different denominations, was a good one. Really the only thing better than that would be to actually try to listen to those that don't go to church anywhere. Maybe do what Jim did and pay people to come to their church and fill out a survey. No strings attached. No whammy. Just fill out this survey, pick up your money. The only stipulation is you have to be thorough while filling out the survey. After all, you are being paid! That is the out-of-the-box thinking that needs to take place. There have been some strong critiques against this unlikely duo, but I guess you have to consider the source. All in all I really enjoyed this book. When I finished the book I felt like I wanted to have a round table discussion. This would make good church staff reading material.
The duo made statements like there may be another book. I hope there is one.

Twilight Zone

Monday and Tuesday of this week, the Sci-Fi channel ran a Twilight Zone marathon. Usually I watch a few episodes, but this time I DVR'd a bunch and have really been enjoying them. Granted, they are pretty corny at times, but some of them really make good points. Alot of the time, the moral is, "be careful what you wish for" or "nothing worth having is easy". Rod Serling was a brilliant writer who was before his time.
Not much else to say. I'm trying to force myself to make more entries in this blog. So...there went!

Star Wars Strikes....Again

I recently cancelled my Blockbuster online membership, so I have been low on movies to watch. I decided a few nights ago to watch the original Star Wars trilogy. I made it through the final episode this morning and in that episode was a great nugget of spiritual truth. You know, it seems to me that no matter how many times I watch certain shows, I find useful information along the way. Well...out with it!
Yoda has gone on to "join the force"(at least that is what I interpret he does when he vanishes before Luke) and Luke is struggling with going on to meet his destiny, which is to confront Lord Vader. Obi-Wan appears to Luke and they begin a conversation about Luke's recent discovery that Darth Vader is his father. Obi-Wan had told Luke that Vader betrayed and killed his father, and Luke is questioning this statement.
Obi-Wan:"...So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view."
Luke:"A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan:"Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

I have been down this road before, but somehow it seems more poignant this go 'round. Now I have literally watched Star Wars, both completely and in pieces, a hundred times, why didn't I see this truth...years ago? Why did it take so long to begin to understand the journey I was "destined" for? Who knows?
I guess the important thing is that I have now discovered a great truth. Next...use it.
The truths that I have clung to most of my life, adolescence to adulthood, have been from a "certain point of view". I have believed things, spiritually speaking, without question due to my rearing. I suppose that this is a good thing, no, scratch that, it is a good thing. My parents passed on to me what they believed to be the truth and for that I am grateful. Now, however, I am beginning a journey in a new direction and my point of view is...different. Knowing that my point of view is different doesn't take away the pain of uncertainty as new ideas and ideals are being "tried on". The struggle is there. The questions remain and even the point of view moves about. One day, one thing. Next day, different thing. Its really hard to find what it is that is unchanging. It has been suggested that which is unchanging is inside all of us. This may be true, but what does that mean?
Ahhh, the wonderful world of "Certain Point of View"! Is it something that can be shared with others? I guess so or else there wouldn't be a single congregation of folks anywhere. But do they really share a certain point of view? Or is it simply a lack of the majority to search out there own point of view? One certain point of view is offered by a few dominant people and others join in. Does this make it a true group of congregates? I don't know.
Well, here's to Lucas' legendary Star Wars dialogue, who would have known it to stir up so many questions?

The Curious Blank

A quote from Spiral Staircase,
"I knew that a good nun must be ready to give up everything and count the world well lost for God. But what had happened to God? My life had been turned upside down, but God should still be the same...My heart and mind both seemed numb..., but God seemed to gone too. In the place that he had occupied in my mind there was now a curious blank.
"Or perhaps it was only now that I could admit to this God-shaped gap in my consciousness. One of the most painful failures of my convent life had been my inability to pray. Our whole existence had had God as its pivotal point. The silence of our days had been designed to enable us to listen to him. But he had never spoken to me."

A few short years ago, I would have thought this statement of the "curious blank" a sure sign of being "lost" (church code for someone who has not prayed a prayer and walked an aisle). It would have seemed to me that this person was merely confused and, according to the advice of a pastor to me during my early days of the Great Awakening,using the epistle of I John, simply did not know for certain of their salvation and therefore lost. I was told that if there was any doubts of my salvation, that it must be the Holy Spirit because the devil could not conjure up assurances of salvation.
Fast forward a few years. I now completely understand and have in fact experienced and am experiencing the "curious blank". I now see this more as a positive than a negative. I will admit, it is very difficult to resign to the fact that I may not have been right about a great many things, but one thing is for certain, it is a very humbling experience.
Honesty is good for the soul, so here goes, I can't recall a single time when God said anything to me....that felt good to say out loud (so to speak). I am not advocating the non-existence of God, in fact, I still believe in God. I am simply stating that he/she has not spoken to me. Sure its easy to use the words, "God said for me to do such and such" or something similar, when you are surrounded by a group of people who use these phrases constantly. Why? Because if you don't, and are the spiritual advisor to others, where are you getting your direction from? Yourself? Are you mad? Certainly you are pious enough to sit in constant vigil eagerly awaiting your next command. Is God really that interested in the color of carpet? If you should or should not pave the parking lot? When to have VBS?
To be truthful, I really do not believe that God is that interested in such trivial things. I do believe that God is interested in such things as love, honesty, and truthfulness. I believe that God cares a great deal about how I treat every person that I come into contact with. These things have, in my humble opinion, lasting effects. But who really knows for certain. Can anyone honestly say that they have been to the great beyond, chronicled their journey in both print and video, returned, and under heavy scrutiny, been proven that this experience has in fact taken place? Honestly, if someone would make the claim, I would think they were a few cards short of a deck.
Well, to each is own I guess. In the mean time, anyone up for a game of Mad Libs?

Remember Jack Handey from SNL?

Read this quote just now and laughed about the pertness of it.


Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.
by Jack Handey

More on Spiral Staircase

I was very brief with my last post on Spiral Staircase, but now I would like to spend a couple of posts on some things that stood out for me.

This is a quote, "When I thought about the issue (leaving the convent), I found only a question mark where the old conviction should have been. I had experienced this time and again recently; it seemed as though I had discarded a good deal of my old religious self when I had taken off my habit. Beliefs and principles that I had taken so completely for granted that they seemed part of my very being now appeared strangely abstract and remote. In fact, I did not seem to think or feel anything very strongly anymore."

See what I mean? I could have written that very statement (minus the habit part) two years ago.
It seems to me that once you fight for a cause for a period of time and then don't, that something in your mind takes place. You really feel like a rug has been pulled out from under your feet, but unlike in the literal sense, there is no floor to land on. Where is the "common ground" of shared views? So far, I really don't think it exists. Can there be a place in time where we truly can all agree to disagree and get on with life? Why do we feel that when we close our eyes at night that we have to sleep in the sweet peace of...I'M RIGHT DAMMIT! I have come to the conclusion that I am mostly wrong. I guess there is peace in that also.
I really understand that last sentence of the quote. There is a "comfortable numbness" that takes place. Its like nothing replaces the old way of thinking and acting. It is a void of sorts but not a scary void, more like a quiet room in your mind were ideas are not coming and going. I guess if you don't do well in silence, this could be scary. I am growing very accustom to it.
Well, until next time...Where's the damn floor in this place?

Reading Update

Well as promised, I would like to finish my reading responses mentioned in the previous post.

The Secret Message of Jesus is a big let down for me. Maybe it is because of the place I am on my journey. A year or two ago, probably two, I would have enjoyed this a little more. For someone that is just starting on a "Great Awakening" journey, this will probably be more enlightening. I think that the premise of the book is OK, nothing really shocking or cutting edge for me.

As for the "Spiral Staircase", excellent book. A little long in some areas, but over all good memoir of a ex-nun. I continue to think that this is a book that you really feel like you know the author. Well written. Very conversational in feel. I will try to get other books of hers to read.

I have a couple of books on hold at the library. Richard Bach's, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah and Will Campbell's Convention. I will let you know how these read.

Starting Reading Again...

It's been awhile since I have read anything outside of entertaining fiction. But because I was missing some good spiritual scholorship. Here is what I am reading:
The Secret Message of Jesus by Brian McLaren. This is a book that at one time I was going to read, but put it off. A friend of mine, who mysteriously countinues to make an appearance sporatically in my life, suggested that I get the book and maybe we could start a conversation with other guys in the area in the same boat as I am in, using this book. I got it from my library and started reading it. I have made it half way through the book, and it is good, but almost predictable. I can certainly appreciate the journey and will finish the book, I just hope that the second half is more enlightening. I guess this would be a starting point to enter a conversation with others similar to myself. We'll see.
The Spiral Staircase, My Climb Out of Darkness by Karen Armstrong. Karen is an ex-nun and this is a partial memoir about her journey from being a nun to...being not a nun but still felling called to minister to the marginalized. The book is fasinating so far, I really feel a kinship with this person I have never met. It's very much like having coffee with someone that really understands what in the crap you are talking about. I love that. I will let you know how this all ends...

Where Are We Headed?

I have been reading Bible Verses and I have been enjoying the perspective of someone that is not, what I would call, a traditionally spiritual person, read through the New Testament and comment on his observations. Because of my upbringing in a conservative religion, my mind was closed to all those that believed differently than myself. Since my Great Awakening (that is my new label for whatever the hell happened to me), I have opened my mind to all kinds of thoughts and ideas and gave them their rightful attention. I gotta tell ya, that is very freeing. It is as though my brain began to be used and not just put in neutral.
At one point in my life, I would have labeled Hugh a heretic and been overly critical of everything he had to say. What a shame! Those most different from us have the most to teach us. Aren't we better able to make decisions when we have all the facts.
Until more people are willing to open up and at the very least listen to some new ideas and thoughts and beliefs, we will never get past where we are as a global people.
Let me change gears just a little.
Everyone would like world peace(Well except those who profit off of war). The only way that I can see that ever happening, is if those that are currently closed-minded to become open-minded. I believe the solution is really that simple. I believe that is what happened to me in my G.A. I am way more accepting of others, regardless of their beliefs or actions, than I ever was before. I would never except the condemning or killing of people because they are different than I am. WHO AM I? Who am I to condemn others? Have I walked in their shoes and seen what they have seen? WTF was I thinking?
Closed-mindedness. What leads us down this dark path? Where do we hope to end up? Everyone believing what we believe? What kind of nonsense is that? But alas, there are too many who believe that their way is the only way and too many who believe that that other group is wrong. What are we all 4 year olds?
Thank you Lord for not letting me live my whole life as a closed-minded asshole!

FAQ

I have been just reading blogs as of late and have had little to add to the cyber-conversation. Recently, I have been blogging about movies and not really about the spiritual things. Here is an update:
I have completely stopped going to church. I haven't been to any church service in a month. I really don't feel bad about it. I sort of feel...hollow? numb? emotionless? I don't know the reason. My wife is going to a church less than a mile from home with my two boys. She is not giving me any grief about it, but my boys are asking why they have to go and I'm not going. I really don't have an answer for them other than telling them that I am struggling with spiritual issues. I wish that I could change. I wish I could do something. If I have learned anything through this journey its this: When you live your life with a certain purpose based wholly on what a religion tells you is right and wrong and one day your whole life is radically changed (I still don't know what brought the change of heart on) and you no longer subscribe to those "rights and wrongs" of religiosity, there isn't much foundation left to rebuild on. It really feels like the rug has been pulled out from underneath my feet and I still haven't landed. Where do I go from here? Which end is up? How do I get off of this crazy ride? I sometimes wish that I would wake up and this whole journey would have been a dream/nightmare. I wish I could go back to feeling all warm and fuzzy on Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and all the other nights that the doors at church were open. Why can't I be satisfied like everybody else and sit in a pew and sing some songs and contribute financially and shake hands and smile and pray out loud and listen to sermons? Why!?! I still don't know.
I guess there really isn't any way to unknow something even though you don't know what started the unknowing.
Still in the woods....

Conversations with God

I watched the movie based on the popular (until about noon today had never heard of them) books and/or following today and I really liked the movie. I was very naked coming into the viewing. I was completely in the dark. For this reason, I had no prejudice for or against. Here is what I thought.
I liked the main character, played by Henry Czerny. He was to me very believeable. There were a few other characters but none as memorable.
The story line was pretty easy to follow. There were several flashbacks that I think played well into the whole story line.
Another cool thing about the movie was the trailer for What the Bleep?. At that point I was really excited about the movie maybe being something that would challenge my thinking and I wasn't let down. This movie did challenge me to check my beliefs at the door and listen and hopefully learn from the experience. Not many movies that I have watched (and I have watched a few) have left me with such a feeling of being lost in thought. Good movie to discuss God and spirituality.
With all that said, I went on line to find out about this author and the following. I was a bit suspicious of Mr. Walsch. It is very New Age (I didn't really pick this up in the movie). There are some nuggets in the philosophy but I don't believe they are solitarily found in this spiritualism (?). I guess the spectator is left to make his own judgements, I believe, as it should be.

Fun Time

Check this out! I don't know what it is, but this makes me laugh the more I see it.

Break Time

I decided to take a break for a little while. I have been writing about motivation and decided to keep it light in this entry.
I have been watching a butt load of movies, mustly DVD's. I thought I would rate a few movies. I don't want to make a list from 1 to 10 are anything like that, just rate 'em likes I sees 'em.

I'll start with Babel starring Brad Pitt. This movie reminded me of Crash. There were four different story lines going on at the same time with all of them sharing a common thread. The order is not chronological but I was able to follow enough to keep up. I liked the movie because of its complexity. I would not buy the movie and probably will not watch it again, but a good way to burn up 2+ hours.


The Prestige is next up. I was really intrigued by this movie based on what Mike said at Gotthammer . It had the same feel as The Illustionist, same time period, etc. but is was a darker movie. This movie had a rich complexity also. It reminded me of a coil of wire tightly wound until the end and poof! it all comes together. This is a movie I will definitly watch again. One time is not enough I don't believe to catch all the subtleties. Excellent movie.

Castle in the Sky. What can be said about this animated movie about a floating castle and a quest by both nations and pirates to possess the power of the castle. A pretty good movie for both child and adult alike. It is pretty long for some small kids, but my 8 and 5 year olds were very captivated by it and watched from beginning to end. Good family flick.

Driving Miss Daisy. I have never seen this movie. I know I am a weird-o, but I never have. I was thinking about Morgan Freeman movies that I have never seen and this was one of the only ones. This was a feel good movie. A good movie though. The acting was great. The characters were excellent. I don't know if I will ever watch this movie again, but I will probably not forget it.

Bridges of Madison County. Here we go again, a movie that I probably should have watched long before this past week but just never have. The recommendation by Lyndon at WLS really pushed me to see it. I really liked it. Clint Eastwood in a romantic movie, odd but good. Meryl Streep played a very sensuous lady from Italy transported to Idaho through marriage to a vetern. The movie is very thought provoking. What is marital love? Dedication to a spouse both mentally and physically is difficult if you entertain certain notions. Good movie to help you answer those questions or at least start the process of discovery.

2001: A Space Odyssey. I watched bits and pieces of this through the years but have never sat down and watched stem to stern in one sitting. This movie is puzzling, at times gut-wrenchingly quite, bizarre, thought-provoking, and terrifying. I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, so it took some time and research on line to figure out what was going on. After a better understanding, it really is a movie ahead of its time. Certainly a good sci-fi, or should I say "sci-non"?

Running with Scissors. I listened to the audiobook some months back and found out later that they were making it into a movie. Augusten Burroughs is laugh out loud funny to me. He may not be that funny to everyone, but to me he really is. He did the book narration so I was able to hear his voice. Until you hear his voice, you really can't appreciate the fullness of his comedy. Running with Scissors the movie helped me to enjoy the characters better, but it was more supplemental to the book to me. The movie may be OK by itself, but I don't know.

The Departed. There is no doubt this movie won Best Movie at the Academy Awards. It has been my experience with all star casts (all star sports is the same) that there is too much ego to make the movie (sports) work. This is certainly an exception to the rule. This was a movie that was very complex, layered. There was some questions that didn't get answered till the end of the movie. I like movies like this. It keeps me interested till the end. If I can figure out the end in the first half hour, I lose interest quick. Well worth your time to watch this one. I will probably watch it again and appreciate the characters more.

I will continue later with more movies as I watch them.

Crash

I know. I know. This movie has been out for a while, but I finally watched it. I had heard that it was hard to follow, but it wasn't. I now wish that I had watched it before last night.
I won't go into great details about the movie for those that have not seen it, but it really follows my whole motivation journey. It deals with prejudices between all people groups. The good, the bad, and the ugly are represented. I will definitely watch it again because I would like to dissect it a little more, but suffice it to say, really a great movie.
I am glad that this story was told. I am glad that it is being watched by so many people (based on it being the number 1 rented DVD since it came out on DVD). Maybe we are headed in a positive direction. Maybe we will get to a point, soon where we will be able to sit at table with all "makes and models" and be able to have a conversation that doesn't end in hate and prejudice. I don't agree with all things, but I do have an open mind. I want to know what makes others "tick". What is their point of view? What is their motivations?
Maybe this motivation journey is more a journey into culture differences than anything else.
I've mentioned this before, but it needs repeating. When watching the Behind the Scenes of the Syriana DVD, George Clooney observed while on location in the Middle East that no matter how hard we want to, "we cannot bomb this (cultural religiosity) out of them!" No matter how much we think we don't agree with others, we don't possess the right perspective. We haven't walked a mile in their shoes. We haven't even had the guts to try the shoes on. Until we can see through their eyes, we have no base on which to condemn.
I don't know where this journey is going, but watching Crash really helped me see a little more clearly.

Motivation cont.

I was watching Nell a couple of days ago. I saw that it was on and caught the movie at the very beginning so left it on and watched. A cool thing was said in the movie that went right along with my motivation journey. One of the doctors in the movie starts to talk about motives and ulterior motives. I really tuned in to see what he would say. He said that every body has motives. Good ones and bad ones. There are main motives and ulterior motives. He even said that Mother Teresa has motives and ulterior motives. He said her motive was to leave the world better than she found it. This got me to thinking. What are my motives and ulterior motives? Are they conscience decisions or are they based on things deep inside my psyche? Where do they begin and end? What causes me to put into action what it is that I do? Why am I writing this down? What do I hope to accomplish? I just can't put a finger on it.

Thanks For The Ride

Thanks boys. Thanks for the great memories. There has never been a greater season in Saints history, but hopefully this isn't the end. I am looking forward to many more great seasons from Sean Payton, Drew Brees, Marques Colston, Deuce McAlister, Reggie Bush, Charles Grant, Scott Fujita, and so on and so on.

Motivation...

I have been reading a book called Being Good. It is a ethics book in its simplest form(s). I started to realize that maybe motivation is lead out of an ethical drive which is based in and around my beliefs. But what happens when my beliefs change, which seem to happen more and more regularly. I don't have a core belief system I don't think. What DO I believe? Maybe knowing what I believe will help me understand what my motivations are. Maybe I'll never be able to pin down this idea, but I will keep trying. Something drives me, us. Are we in control of our motivations or do they control us. I want to find out what a pure motive is. Does it exist? I was thinking the other day that no matter what I did, the end result was self-serving. Is that all there is? Self-serving actions. Some will say that they do what they do because they love others. But DO they? Are they doing it to hope for a return? Some may say, and in fact I've said at one time, that I am doing what I do out of commitment, love, etc. of/for God, but isn't this also self-serving. I've heard pastors say that they are looking forward to the day when they stand before the Lord and He commends them with, Well done! Isn't that self-serving? Are there any truly non self-serving acts?
Still searching....

Motivation Part 2

As if in response to yesterday's post, I went to the library to kill some time and found a book by Mother Teresa called In The Heart of The World. I had to fight back several emotions. Tears mostly. I guess when you are faced with the character of Mother Teresa, there is little to smile about when you contemplate your character in comparison. Without a doubt, I would loved to have met this great women. I am pretty certain that she could help me understand motivation. I would definitely ask her what motivates her to be so loving, compassionate, just, pure, good. I know that she was not perfect in all things, but she was certainly closer than I have ever been or ever may be. I would encourage you to read this very short book if for nothing else but to be reminded about a great women of history of which few will ever equal. I will close for today with a quote from the chapter titled "On Sacrifice". She said, "Love, to be real, must cost--it must hurt--it must empty us of self." I guess that is as good a starting point as any when contemplating motivation. Thank you Mother Teresa.

Motivation Part One

I have been thinking a great deal about motivation for the past two years. I don't know what brought on the desire to know what it is that drives me to do the things that I do. All I am certain of is I am fairly uncertain about what those motivations are. I will try to hash out some of my thoughts over the next several weeks. I hope that if anyone has some insights that you express them via commenting. What drives you/me to do the things we do?

GEAUX TIGERS!!!

Already 2007?!?

Another year has come and gone. My boys are a year closer to being on their own. I've been married another year. Life just won't stop! Jane! Stop this crazy thing! Well I will try to do better with my blogging this coming year. I have really slacked off. I haven't been reading as much lately. Been watching a lot of movies though. I have Blockbuster's online movie service, I recently subscribed to HBO, plus what has been playing on regular TV for the holidays. LOTS of movies! I guess I should do something like my friend, Gotthammer, and do some kind of movie review, list, etc. I don't know, I'll have to think about that some.
Well, while I was perusing other blogs, I came across this quote and thought it was a good one for the new year:
Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
-William Faulkner